Nick's lazy blog spot...

2009-04-25T03:18:00.012+08:00

5 years ago i came to KL , with a big hope, with a big dream, with a lot of confidence that i will make it big, find my soul mate, get a job with a big multinational, climb up fast while along the way learn a lot of new things and valuable experience which would one day be useful for me to build my own business , a business that would not only make a lot of money but a business that will change lives and make a difference, something innovative, something never thought of, and along the way i will find the gal of my life, someone i long to share my life with and be happy with for the rest of my life, someone after a busy day and when i come home to, i can look into her eyes and remember what is life all for.

5 years after i am far from what i dreamt , i have long forgotten my dream and lost the courage to live for it,everyday feeling that something is missing, feeling depressed,if i look deeper it's not that it's something i can never do, god has shown me the way , he gave me opportunities, he let me meet this wonderful girl who i have grown to love and care for over the years ,he gave me a job with a big multinational with lots of very capable and smart people i can learn from, he gave me the key, he shown me he way, but i have only stayed by the sideline and feel sorry for myself, i don't have the courage to try, the faith to believe, the will to struggle but only stand by the side and complain bout life, i pray, i will have the faith to believe, the will to persevere an the courage to live my life from today onwards.

2008-04-10T22:31:00.001+08:00

As I stand on my balcony
and gaze upon a thousand lights far away
the cold winds chills my bones
but the thought of you warms my heart

As i gaze beyond
i see a dream
a dream of you and me
side by side
hand in hand
heart to heart

From happiness to sadness
from calm to storm
from the mountains to the oceans
from dawn to dusk
we will never be alone

2007-06-06T23:58:00.000+08:00

Another day has passed by, again I am filed with regrets with what I have done, what I have said, I have squandered another precious day, not being what I want to be, what I should be. I let fear took hold of me, I let residue of the past blurred my thoughts. Frustrated again I didn’t take hold of my own life, not living in faith. I let circumstances take charge of me, I let it drove me away from me. I am jus another passer by looking at my own life being driven. Tomorrow or days later, everything will be ok again; I would be given another chance at life. I will grow complacent again, I would do the same, driven again, until I crash. I am destroying myself over and over .I am stuck in a moment I can’t get out off. Lord what shall I do to break free? Guide me lord, never let me give up.

2007-05-30T03:16:00.000+08:00

3.17 a.m , i can't sleep, i gaze out of my balcony, they were stars, far away lightning flashing down.. but i can't hear any sound, such a surreal sight.Such power and might , it's strikes fears right into the heart...What has happen to me? Have i pussied out, what happen to the me which was so full of passion, so full confident that i felt the world is mine for the taking.where did the fire inside me go?where was the nick that grab life by it's horn and went full steam ahead, chasing his dream, striving for what he wanted.

Has work imprisoned me? has relationship shadowed me? that i can't no longer feel myself. Do i belong here?why do i put up with my boring mundane work..a waste of my life...why is there hesitation to just go out and grab what i want.what have became of me..like many thousand others, rushing, fearing, worrying and chasing someone else's dream.

2007-05-01T22:40:00.000+08:00

Wind of change

Change can be exciting, especially when were bored with our current state of life,we yearn for something new.Change is also a double edge sword, Often we fear change, especially changes that are not expected, changes which we can't predict the consequences.It brings uncertainty into life, rarely with optimism which would help us see things in a more positive perspective, but often with paranoia, thinking of the worst that can happen.Personally for me,i fear change which would affect the people i hold dear in my heart.Changes which bring distance in between and status quo.I fear myself,I fear change that would subject me to behave in ways i would regret later.Change that would make me into the person i once dread to be.

Being a Christian we are always taught to embrace change, trust in him, god knows better than us.Everything is in his grand plan.We are to face uncertainty in his peace.Maybe i am a man of little faith.My head knows i should be in his peace in face of uncertainty, but my heart differs.Not with certainty and courage i say...i will struggle to be in his peace, but with doubt and fear, with imperfection, by his grace, may he mold me, to trust him more.To have unshakable peace and trust in my heart.

2007-04-27T02:10:00.000+08:00

point of origin

1st day 26th April
Here i am again, my home, my root, my birth,the starting point of my life.
Away from distractions ,work, peer influence, pressure,worries,circumstances, confusion, schedules and wishful desires.A place where i'll look back,with a clear point of view.Rediscovering me.A peril to a journey of thought and decisions.

Five for fighting - 100 years

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind
I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...
I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

2007-04-10T00:57:00.000+08:00

Alive again...

A lot has happened , my soul broken,spirit tired, my faith shattered, passion dried, courage subsided, creativity stiffened, a life with out meaning, a life in fear.i've forgotten who i am, what i stand for.

Alive, Alive , Alive...risen again i shall be , my soul fed,my faith stronger, passion fumed by fire, courage given,creativity flow again...for blessed i am by he who is blessed.Wisdom and peace he shall bestow upon me.Side by side he shall stand for eternity.Forgiven i am.From ashes i will rise, to once again serve him.Amen.

2007-02-11T05:18:00.000+08:00

Many dreams, many hopes, many broken ones...they have all broken me in some way, i'm no more the person i use to be.I lost a big part of me.....it is time again to retreat home, to find my root again, to find wat i stand for..to find my zeal, oh sweet home, my sanctuary i'm coming home.....

2006-11-05T12:55:00.000+08:00

He and She
Two different person, same value, same believes, changed by different experience, thus different perspective to life, different interpretation of the same value. One has big dreams and aspirations; one is practical and down to earth. One keeps planning, one keeps doing, one is very analytical on the details, and one is very much on ideas. He believe their different but complimentary character will bring them far, he believes they can learn from each other, and change each other for the better and the things they have in common would further bring them closer, but does she think so?
He believes things could work, no matter how far apart, but does she? He thinks it’s worth it to give it a shot, take a chance for what could be a beautiful life story. He believes it’s worth it to keep hoping and believing even thou there is fear of disappointment, but does she? He hopes she would open her heart to him and have faith in him, but would she? He feels tired sometime, but his not giving up so easily, would she do the same? Two hearts, two souls, would they someday be one…? Someday some place…we shall know, whether their path crossed to bring pain or happiness.

2006-10-15T12:50:00.000+08:00

Too funny not to share.

My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health."

So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money.

It was my grandfather.

(By Jackie Mason)

2006-10-06T12:35:00.000+08:00

2006-10-06T12:29:00.000+08:00

2006-10-06T11:42:00.000+08:00

Discover core value -> define -> strategize and implement -> review

Discover core value

Discover what values that make me tick, that inspire me, what makes me happy.
What values what I was brought up with, values that make me live a fulfilled life, feeling satisfied. What I believe in…

Define

Define those value in detail, how do they relate to me, how do I map it to my life, how do I practice it. Why is it a value I want to practice….have I practice it in the pass? What were the consequences of not practicing it…what are will be the benefits of practicing it.

Strategize and implement

Come out with a strategy for me to incorporate those values in my life, how do I encourage myself to practice those values? What is the best mechanism to help me track progress of practicing those values? How do I keep the fire burning and sustain it. What is the best strategy so I will succeed in practicing the defined core values?
What is the best strategy to keeping this process alive!? That I don’t loose momentum and be another on of my shelved self renewal and transformation project?

Review

After every quarter I will review, the defined core value, how well did I practice and uphold, are the practice core value, really my core values? The results of practicing those core values. Any change of core value? Change of definition?

Copyright notice: Feel free to copy or distribute, as long you do not attach any copyright to this work or any derivatives of this work.

2006-10-05T12:08:00.000+08:00

To Someone Special to me..

i like it when you smile, it just melts my heart away
i like it when i can catch a glimpse of you soundly asleep in my car,it reminds me how beautiful life can be
i like it when u manja me to buy u ice-cream , it makes me happy i could make you happy
i like it when you blush, you jus look so cute
i like it when you get so excited about desert, you jus look so lovely
i like it when you are deep in thought , you jus look so beautiful
and when you look so tired and dissapointed, i really felt like jus hugging you u n tell u tat everything is going to be alrite
there is much more i wan to do with you...
i want to lie down on the grass and star gaze with you
i want to take a walk on beach an admire the beautiful sunset while enjoying the sea breeze with you
i want to take a walk with you early in the morning and enjoy the morning breeze
i want to take a walk down the beautiful lit up street during christmas with you
i want to hug u and keep you warm when it's freezing cold
i want to sit beside the lake with you to admire the beautiful reflection of the moon
i want to catch the beautiful new year eve firework with you while enjoy a glass of nice wine
i want to cook yer fav dish and see u smile when u enjoy it (i'm not good at cooking but i'll learn =p)
i want to sing a beautiful duet you, heart to heart
i want to experience new and wonderful things with you
i want to be there for you when u are feeling down
i want to be there with you when u experience the happy moments of life
i want to grow with you and face the challanges in life
i want to experience bitterness and sweetness of life with you
i want to make u feel safe and loved
i want to make promises to you and fulfilled them one by one
i want to be with you when we experience the love and grace of god
it doesn't matter where i have to go as long we can be togather
it doesn't matter where we could be...as long we would be happy togather
i want to start a new begining with you...

2006-10-01T13:47:00.000+08:00

A hundread broken dreams, a thousand dissapoinments...life is full of up and downs , as we search for wisdom, as we learn to be more calm and patient, as we learn to accept things as they are, as we learn to look at life at the ligther side....keep on hoping, keep on moving, put the past behind...some time you win, sometime you loose...thats just life .. as u get better at handling the up and downs, the happier u will be...

2006-08-07T00:22:00.000+08:00

Remeberence....

"Do you have a dream? i have , i dream about it everyday, sometime with disappointments , sometime with hope, sometime with emotions , sometime with excitements. I dream not of an event or an achievements, but i dream of a journey, a journey of fulfillments, a journey till my last breathe. In my dreams, i see the person i dream to be, the decision i will make, the emotions I will feel, the people around me , the character that i am , the things i will do, my believes and even the challenges i will face, As i gaze upon the city nightline, it struck me that i struggle to find myself in this bustling city, where for many pride and materialism is a relieve from cruel reality, yet it is a city so diverse with many inspiring people, the action seems so near yet so far, I vow to live my dreams day by day, but i know that all is in the hand of god. Many of you who are close to me will partially know what i mean, what my dreams are, and some of our dreams cross and weave together. I call upon you my frens,no matter how far apart, live you dream day by day, so we might weave our dreams together into a grand dream we all share.”

-Written once upon a time

2006-08-03T00:01:00.000+08:00

it's been ages since i blog, i jus dun have the mood, i jus dun have the energy, i'm not in the mood to elobrate why....i can;t say life has been really sucky, i can't say life has been good, i'm some sort stuck in between, i drag myself out of bed...i dun enjoy my job, i feel no passion, i dun feel for things anymore..i feel like my life is jus stagnant, like i'm going no where..i'm not fired up, i'm so frustrated, worst part is , u dunno wat u need to do turn things around, i wan't to believe god has a plan for me...but sometime i jus cant see wat he wants from me...sometime i jus feel lost and i question myself..is this where god want me to go? i'm jus so tired of thinking, i'm sick of the state of my life now...i want change...but i lack the will and the passion to do so...where can i get some? if only i can rekindle the passion i had for my dreams , the zeal i had for life..and remember it day by day..have the courage and the will to do what i want...

2006-05-07T21:20:00.000+08:00

hey folks, sorry i have been MIA for sometime, been real bz working and on the weekends i'm just either too tired or uninspired to blog... well guys remember my last blog, i was having hell of a shit time, well things seem to got better, after a month or so i found a job, soon i'll getting my car, moving out to a nicer place ,most things but not everything seems to happen as planned, it jus got a bit delayed,shit still happens every now and than, but its not as bad as before.I'm still optimisitc things will all turn out fine... jus a matter of time. By the end of the year i might not achieve everything i wanted, but i expect at least to achieve 70-80% of my goals.

As for other matters, i feel like im slipping further and further away from my some of closes frens, cos timing was always wrong, when i'm free, their not, when they are, i'm not or their half way around the globe, i really do miss them, my fren once told me... people walk in and out of your life, some would stay , some would not, it's true, but i hope i would at least get to choose who will stay, but in truth , things like that can't be helped, you can only try your best and hope for the best.I have frens around me, but still i feel lonely, i miss frens who i can really connect with me.It's like their now all so far away, going on with their own life,i wonder if they are feeling the same.Some ppl tell me that's part of growing, you know what, this part sucks!

2006-03-11T12:29:00.000+08:00

1st of all...before i start blogging, i would like to say... My Parents ROCKS! eeheh their super loving and caring parents!!

it's been a long time since i blog, alot of shit has happen, its seems the 1st quater of 2006, wasnt' such a good quater after all, how ever i am cautiously optimistic the rest of the year, will turn out fine if not great.. im not going to bable in full wat happen, and how bad it is...it jus seems that when things seems good it all turn bad, i had badluck over and over again, there was always someting tat went wrong with wat i ever i planned, its like im jinx or wat!This is one of the toughest moment of my life, a fight to stay positive , a fight in hope that that the sky will shine again, a fight to keep believing in myself.In the end i shall prevail for....ashes of a great empire will give birth to another greater empire...

if there were no pain, would there be pleasure?
if there were no sadness, would there be happiness?
if there were no crushed dreams, would there be hope?

2005-12-28T17:22:00.000+08:00

Prologue

In a moment a year has passed, a tremendous year of joy and tears. A year of many challenges that brought many changes. From the comforting bliss of my home to a city full of madness but also full of possibilities, from loosing weight to gaining it back, from graduating uni to taking up a crappy course meant to short change the Rakyat’s money, from a Jusco cheap labour to now more professional but even cheaper labour at Accenture, from driving to everywhere to now walking and taking to buses to anywhere.

The Story of a Boy

Sounds pretty bad huh? Not really, not until you hear the whole story,
So here goes, the story of a boy, called Nick. Nick came here as an immigrant, being homeless and all, his “Cimui” took him in as a refugee, fleeing from the boredness of his home town hoping to find excitement, career and who knows maybe even love. So little nick went job hunting eyeing those tough to get jobs, not wanting a boring job in any small time firm, thinking he has all it takes (he actually does, just a matter of time before all is unleashed, than a tremble will resonate across the corporate world). He landed a job with a big multinational, but little did he know that this Japanese multinational is not his cup of green tea. Being so happy that he was given the title of “management trainee”, he moves out from refugee camp and found himself a place. Sharing his apartment with a multimedia guy and a fitness buff who also happens to be a fitness trainer, After orientation, all seems good and bright, After few weeks only did he know what actually management trainee means in Jusco, It means multi-purpose do-it-all cheap labour, so cheap he had to carry stuff and at the same time do stupid documentations. The hours were long, the pay so little (RM1450 after epf), neither was there overtime or any other attractive remuneration.

He knew he had to get out. So he started looking or a new job, a few calls he did get, but before he could go for any interviews, he heard of a course fully paid for by government where he’ll learn all the “latest” language and framework, so he resigned from his job and took up the course. But still in doubt if he had done the right thing, since they were a lot of grads that are unemployed. Only recently he conceded it was the right decision, everyone in his batch has resigned (the last one this December). Excited he was about the course, only later to find out that his class had inexperienced lecturers who doesn’t know shit bout what they’re teaching. Worst still he was put into a class which was ahead for a month, furious he was, but soon took it up as a challenge to play catch up, even though he did catch up, he never mastered what he learned up to his own expectation. So along came his first project, he came up with a great idea and pitched it to his team, they liked it and made him project manager, excited he was little nick, he wanted to build a “perfect” application, so he worked hard, delegated some of the part which he thought was less critical. They were co-operative people but some were not so good in programming, some really didn’t understand his grand design. So what came up was an application half of his expectation. Never the less, he didn’t blame his team because he knew they had put in their effort, he reckon his mistake was he never monitored their progress enough or clearly communicated his expectation.

Then came the second project, he was rudely pushed into another group by his lecturer, than again determined not to let that keep him from trying to build another great application, he again came up with a great idea, he pitched it to his lecturer and then to his new team, they too think it was a great idea, so the current manager suggested he took over as project manager, but they was a problem with one of the group members, he was power gila, and insisted, he be made project manager, due to nick’s concern the project will abruptly screw up if the Mr. power gila became PM (It is rumored that Mr.gila is a Syok sendiri racist pig), so he used a few tricks in his book of nick ( for e,g the book of Screw with me, you die ; the book of F*ck off asshole and etc).He manage to rally a majority support for him to become Project manager. Determined not to make the same mistake, he articulated his design clearly in documents ,from class diagrams to database schema, than delegated the work out, opting to do the core of the application himself, but to his dismay, one group member never finish her module, Mr. Power gila deviated from the design and had his own variation of the database schema, and he never finished his part too! Frustrated he was that he felt like whacking them all. But he told himself, he tried his best, circumstances were not in his favor. From that day onwards, he swore he would try his every best not to work with incompetent people.

So after that, it was almost the end of his course, which required him to undergo a 3-month internship. He was accepted into Accenture as an intern and was placed on a database-warehousing project. On the first day he was excited, he met the team, all seem like very competent people, second day, he was thrown a task and given a deadline, than another task. He made quite a few silly mistakes, annoying his supervisor, than after that, it was all “self study” assignments, which made him bored, so bored, he actually wrote this piece, than he was given the responsibility to organize the team Christmas party, the pressure were on, because they would be invited guest, and the project manager insisted the party to be near perfect. But luckily, the team was pretty helpful, particularly one adorable cutie called D and his supervisor called O. And the story goes on……to the year of 2006

People Behind the Scene

VJ – a friend he met in Jusco, who resigned one week after nick and now working for one of the big 4 audit firms, regularly meets up with nick to have a nice chat bout finance and business stuff.

Cimui a.k,a not so straight buddy – The one who took the refugee in when he first came to KL and help him get in tune with crazy life in KL.

Hostel mate – too many to list , most of them Sabahan , and 2 Chinese, one a self centered assh*le he disliked, but soon moved out.

The gang – his bunch of home town friends whom he did a lot of crazy things with and share the same dream, but sadly he never really got to meet up with some of them for year of 2005, most of them scattered down under. Except one who is in KL but sadly exiled to semenyih.

The adorable cutie (D) – his newfound friend who he would bug when he has nothing better to do.

Mum & Dad – personal banker of nick, providing services such as cash on demand

Ka Che- his most matured close friend he usually rant to about anything and everything

Chie chie – Another one of his more matured friend who he sometimes do lunch or dinner with.

Sara – his musical friend who he always planned to go watch Philharmonic orchestra with but never realized

Steph – his kch fren who came to KL for love, once almost drove around the entire south side of KL looking for a famous mamak, but never found it.

Cindy – his long lost high school friend whom he often regards as the most goodie and nicest gal he knows.

Uncle – his real uncle who was in KL working as senior manager at one of the big 4 until he recently resigned and move down under, regularly takes little nick out for lunch or dinner when he was in KL.

And etc –If i didn’t list you; it’s not that your not important to me, I’m jus getting lazy.

Prospectus for the year of 2006

All in the year of 2006 seems better for nick; hopefully he will get a good job that pays well. He will be getting a car, finance by his personal banker on the condition he gets a job. He will than move out of his ratchet hostel and find a nice place to stay and continue trying to make his dream come true, he is truly bullish about the years to come.

To end this long winding Annual report, I would like to quote from myself in one of my blog posting dated July18 2005:

“Do you have a dream? i have , i dream about it everyday, sometime with disappointments , sometime with hope, sometime with emotions , sometime with excitements. I dream not of an event or an achievements, but i dream of a journey, a journey of fulfillments, a journey till my last breathe. In my dreams, i see the person i dream to be, the decision i will make, the emotions I will feel, the people around me , the character that i am , the things i will do, my believes and even the challenges i will face, As i gaze upon the city nightline, it struck me that i struggle to find myself in this bustling city, where for many pride and materialism is a relieve from cruel reality, yet it is a city so diverse with many inspiring people, the action seems so near yet so far, I vow to live my dreams day by day, but i know that all is in the hand of god. Many of you who are close to me will partially know what i mean, what my dreams are, and some of our dreams cross and weave together. I call upon you my frens,no matter how far apart, live you dream day by day, so we might weave our dreams together into a grand dream we all share.”

©2005 Nicholas Loh , Copyrights Reserved, Do not copy or redistribute , private content.
For legal reason, this work shall be considered as a parody or fictional and not factual in nature.

Happy New year and may the year of 2006 be one great year for all

Cheers,
Nicholas Loh

2005-11-28T17:20:00.000+08:00

Bored at office
after having my industrial placement here for a week, today is the most boring of all! no jobs, no work, my assignment, "self study"
arghh...i am BORED!!! i don't know wat else to write, when i'm bored i'm not inspired to write...sorry guys, oh btw, i jus discovered all the funiture in the pantry are actually ikea funitures

2005-11-20T10:22:00.000+08:00

bzbzbbzbz
sorry guys, haven't blog for ages,quite bz lately, din even had time to blog about my kch trip,anyway i had a very good time,but after coming bck KL , it seems all hell has broke loose, my project was 50% disaster, its frustrating man, knowing tat u design it well, did your part well and than only to have other ppl screw it up,argghh i hate working with incompetent ppl...one fellow in my group didn't do his part up to my spec,not only tat,he din follow the database schema i gave him, another member DID NOT COMPLETE her part,luckily i forseen things like tat to happen and did a majority of the system myself,or else i would not only had a non-complete system to present but a non-existence perverted system .well tats the pass..
anyway, now i'm having my industrial placment at accenture, really bz man,1st day there and they threw me a deadline already, but , in a way its good ,i like a good challange, almost can't meet the deadline, luckily did thanks to my sifue, almost everyday i worked till 8-9 at nite , not tat they forced me to, but i feel compelled to, since i had a deadline and their still all there working, it much more nicer working with a competent and dedicated team, unlike the previous team i worked with,its really rewarding, i'm probaly the less competent person in the team rite now,lol, i'm building the my job with out much understanding of how it actually works,using a development tool i had no idea it existed, made alot of stupid mistakes, kinda frustrating, but it's a challange, and i hope to change all tat, its really ironic,all the while i would be the one designing the system and communicating it to the other members and had them build it, but now i'm blindly following some one else's design.

2005-10-27T11:30:00.000+08:00

Landmark Case in malaysia?
The star oct 27
KUALA LUMPUR: Blind singer-cum-musician Alfred Ho was refunded half the price of a MP3 player he bought which he claimed was not user-friendly.

The Consumer Claims Tribunal president Jailani Rahman awarded RM350 to Ho for the RM699 MP3 Creative Zen Neeon player he had bought from Infoflex-I Sdn Bhd.

2005-10-25T13:40:00.000+08:00

the SP war in brickfield and the peeing tom + hot pursuit

ah.. tats alot to blog bout in a single post, but hell tats bcos i haven not been blogging for a while, SP? wat is SP? SP stands for sound pressure, usually measured in db or decibel, Depavali is near, so u have all those stalls set up along brickfield selling depavali goods, as gimmick to attract customer, few of those stall set up big ass concert speakers, some even with DJ to attract customer, the annoying ting is their all trying to drown out each other, cranking it up to max volume, in the process anoying customer, any one walking nearby the speakers will suffer momentary loss of heaaring, prolong exposure would also result from momentrary to being upgraded to permanent..

Now the intresting part, the peeing tom, recently a fren told me very early in the morning he saw a gal change, and boy, he saw everyting, the gal din draw the curtain tinkin no one would probaly be lookin so early in the morning, he wasnt, bullshiting, it was caught on tape, but he was "ethical" enough to erase the footage after showing us..SO gAls, ALWAYS DRAW YOUR CURTAIN WHEN U CHANGE OR PLAN TO GET NAKED, u never know who's lookin, even at odds hours!! if you don't you might instantly be upgraded to celebrity status appearing in file swaps, internet site,emails and who knows..even VCD!

and oh yea..the hot pursuit, it was sat nite, my 1st blackout experience in KL,it was dam hot and noting to do, luckily my frens laptop was fully charged, so we decide to catch a movie on DVD, ,but suddenly there was a real show going in brickfields, police car were going around, police helicopters were going around with those big blinding searchlights, according to my housemate, he heard on radio there was an armed robery in brickfield, wat a perfect timing, jus when the black out occur in brickfield , there was a robbery, is it really prefect timing or isit planned? has malaysian criminals reach a point of sophistication tat they can induce a black out for robbery? man tats scary..

2005-10-24T16:22:00.000+08:00

if someone ever wanna tell me bout my future, i'll ask if its good or bad, if its good rite... i'd say tat all i need to know, if its bad, i'd wan more details? know why? i tell tml! stay tuned ehehe

ans: If it's good, all i wanna know it's good, i dun wanna know the details, if i know it wun be fun anymore working towards my future, it's the journey and suprise tat makes life beautiful,if i know, they wun be countless beautiful possibilities,if it's bad , i wanna know the details, so i can do wat ever i can to make it jus a wat if tat never happen

2005-10-20T17:39:00.000+08:00

2005-10-19T09:47:00.000+08:00

how's life folks? it's been mad for me, busy, intresting in an academic sense, in life sense..its boring as hell,, its all class and project, lots of stuff to do so little time, but i'm really looking forward to going back to kch, can't wait man, miss the food, miss my home, miss my family and frens...hope to see u all soon.

you know wat? now it will be easier for u to grab your cash anytime anywhere, maybank customers now can also withdraw their money from cashiers of participating merchants!! yes , u did hear rite! cashiers!! of cos u still be subjected to the usual RM1 meps charge. i cant really imagine, going to the cashier to withdrawl your money! and OH... did u know , now that google is worth more than indonesia's combined market equity !! a search engine is worth more than the world's 4th most populated nation, it's really cheap!! no wonder they have been a spate of aquisition of indonesian asset by malaysian companies, but it does come with a high risk premium given the many chaos indonesia can churn out from time to time, but if they can turn tings around, those who bought a "piece" of indonesia cheap will get really rich!

2005-10-14T14:41:00.000+08:00

ubuntu!! the Linux distro with a mission

"Ubuntu" is an ancient African word, meaning "humanity to others". Ubuntu also means "I am what I am because of who we all are". The Ubuntu Linux distribution brings the spirit of Ubuntu to the software world.

The Ubuntu community is built on the ideas enshrined in the Ubuntu Manifesto: that software should be available free of charge, that software tools should be usable by people in their local language and despite any disabilities, and that people should have the freedom to customise and alter their software in whatever way they see fit.

it's cool...check it out!
http://www.ubuntu.com/

2005-10-14T09:53:00.000+08:00

Project project project..im going nuts man! project back to back, less thn 2 weeks to finish a project! compliment of cosmopoint, they reallys screw up our schedule! if psmb finds out..i tink their gonna really get screwed!! It's so long since i blogged man, been so bz like mad, when i find the free time, im too tired to blog, or im at "home" wif out a pc wat more to say an internet connection!

anywya the recent events in parliment were very intresting, the case where 2 BN MP stood in support of Lim kit Siangs motion to refer our own "iron lady" to the privilage commitee is someting beautiful, its bipartisan democracy at work, but sadly the next day , action was to be taken againts them, crap man, wats wrong with standing up and and speak up for wat u believe in?? after all they are elected representative of the ppl! Can't a member of BN see eye to eye with the opposition, politicians should fight for public common good, not for jus the common good of the party! and jus yesterday , Datuk Shahrir called for the re-enactment of the Parliamentary Services Act 1963 for better palimentary autonomy,the call was unnanimously su the act was repealed in 1992, for wat reason , i dunno yet, would love to find out.but aint got the time rite now, i wonder if it was lim kit siang who called for the re-enactment, would it get tat kinda suport? would those who support the call get party whipping?

2005-10-04T14:08:00.000+08:00

The new Beginning...

Hello guys and girls , leng lois and leng cais, Sisters and brothers and family, how are u all? im fine, very fine today..ehhee
sorry i haven bloged for such a long time , been really bz, had my project, its now history, now the documentation,another project is coming up soon, its like the projects are back to back..crazy man!!! jus had my interview , been studying like mad the past few days for the interview, the ironic ting there was not a single technical question at all!! anyway i got accepted into Accenture for indutrial placement, their office is at KLCC!! yea!! hahaa lvl 66, i can imagine the breathtaking view now.. =p excited man , hopefully i will perform well and be hired as permanent staff..i heard the pay is real good!! and oh guys if ur reading this..hi , i miss u guys! yes u heard it...i usually don say this , i miss u guys! i miss all the drinking and damai session, hope to see u guys soon, im going back during hari raya, so if any of u happen to be back then give me a call or someting la...

2005-09-06T15:43:00.000+08:00

Racism in msia?
article pluck from http://diffy.blogspot.com/
---------------------------------------------------------------
I have been meaning to pen some thoughts for some time now, to let people actually read the views of the typical 'overseas Malaysian' who is kept away. I realise that my email is rather long, but I do hope that you would consider publishing it (and also keep my name private!).

I shall start by telling a little about my background. Mine is a rather sad tale - of a young Malaysian full of hope and patriotic enthusiasm, which is slowly but surely trickling away.

I am very different from many other non-bumiputeras, as I was given tremendous opportunities throughout my childhood. Born into a middle-class Chinese but English-speaking family, I grew up with all the
privileges of imported books, computers, piano/violin lessons and tuition teachers.

My parents insisted that I should be exposed to a multi-racial education in a national school. In my time, my urban national school (a missionary school)was a truly happy place - where the Malays, Chinese
and Indian students were roughly equal in proportion. We played and laughed with each other, and studied the history of the world together during Form 4, with one interesting chapter dedicated to Islamic history.

Though 75% of my teachers were Malays, I never really noticed. My Malay teachers were the kindest to me - teaching me well and offering me every possible opportunity to develop. I led the district teams for
English and Bahasa Malaysia debating competitions. I was the only non-Malay finalist in the Bahasa Malaysian state-level elocution competition. My Malay teachers encouraged me to transfer to a government residential school (sekolah berasrama penuh) so as to
enable me to maximise my academic potential. I refused because I was happy where I was, so they made me head prefect and nominated me as a 'Tokoh Pelajar Kebangsaan'.

Till this day, I am absolutely certain that it was the kindness of all my Malay teachers which made me a true Malaysian.

I excelled at school and was offered a Singaporean government scholarship to study overseas. I turned them down because I wanted to ensure that I would remain a 'true Malaysian' in the eyes of Malaysia.
So I accepted a Malaysian government scholarship to study at Oxford University. Throughout my three years as an undergraduate, the officers at the MSD looked after me very well, and was always there to offer
support.

I graduated with first class honours, and was offered a job with a leading investment bank. The JPA released me from my bond, so as to enable me to develop my potential. I shall always be grateful for that. I worked hard and rose in rank. My employer sent to me to Harvard University for postgraduate study and I climbed further up their meritocratic ladder.

Now I am 31 years old and draw a comfortable monthly salary of US$22,000. Yet, I yearn to return home. I miss my home, my family, my friends, my Malaysian hawker food and the life in Malaysia. I have been
asked many times by Singaporean government agencies to join them on very lucrative terms, but I have always refused due to my inherent patriotism.

I really want to return home. I have been told by government-linked corporations and private companies in Malaysia that at best, I would still have to take a 70% pay cut if I return to Malaysia to work. I am
prepared and willing to accept that. My country has done a lot for me, so I should not complain about money.

But of late, my idealistic vision of my country has really come crashing down, harder and faster than ever before.

I read about the annual fiasco involving non-bumiputera top scorers who are denied entry to critical courses at local universities and are offered forestry and fisheries instead. (My cousin scored 10A1's for SPM and yet was denied a scholarship).

I read about UMNO Youth attacking the so-called meritocracy system because there are less than 60% of Malay students in law and pharmacy, whilst conveniently keeping silent about the fact that 90% of overseas scholarship recipients are Malays and that Malays form the vast majority in courses like medicine, accountancy and engineering at local universities.

I read about the Higher Education Minister promising that non-bumiputera Malaysians will never ever step foot into UiTM.

I read about a poor Chinese teacher's daughter with 11A1's being denied a scholarship, while I know some Malay friends who scored 7A's and whose parents are millionaires being given scholarships.

I read about the brilliant Prof. K.S. Jomo, who was denied a promotion to Senior Professor (not even to Head of Department), although he was backed by references from three Nobel Prize winners. Of course, his talent is recognised by a prestigious appointment at the United Nations.

I read about UMNO Youth accusing Chinese schools of being detrimental to racial integration, while demanding that Mara Junior Science Colleges and other residential schools be kept only for Malays.

I read about the Malay newspaper editors attacking the private sector for not appointing enough Malays to senior management level, whilst insisting that the government always ensure that Malays dominate anything government-related.

I read that at our local universities, not a single Vice-Chancellor or Deputy Vice-Chancellor is non-Malay.

I read that in the government, not a single Secretary-General of any ministry is non-Malay. The same goes for all government agencies like the police, armed forces, etc.

I read about UMNO screaming for the Malay Agenda, but accusing everyone else of racism for whispering about equality.

I read about a poor Indian lady having to pay full price for a low-cost house after being dispossessed from a plantation, whilst Malay millionaires demand their 10% bumiputera discount when buying RM2 million bungalows in a gated community.

I read about my beloved national schools becoming more and more Islamic by the day, enforced by overzealous principals.

I read about my Form 4 World History (Sejarah Dunia) syllabus, which now contains only one chapter of world history, with Islamic history covering the rest of the book.

As I read all this, I tremble with fear. I love my country and long to return. I am willing to take a 70% pay cut. I am willing to face a demotion. I honestly want to contribute my expertise in complex financial services and capital markets. But really, is there a future for me, for my children and for their children? I am truly frightened.

I can deal with the lack of democracy, the lack of press freedom, the ISA, our inefficient and bureaucratic civil service, our awful manners and even a little corruption. But I cannot deal with racism in my homeland.

I think this is the single biggest factor which is keeping people like myself away. And bear in mind - there are so many of us (researchers, scientists, bankers, economists, lawyers, academics, etc.). What people read about in Malaysia (like Dr Terence Gomez)is but the tiniest tip of the iceberg. You will be amazed to know about Malaysians denied JPA scholarships (which would have made them civil servants), took loans to attend Ivy League universities, but who are later asked to advise our government (on IT, economics, etc.) at fees running to millions of US dollars. Such information will never be published because it is politically incorrect.

As a Christian, I pray for God's blessing on this great country of ours. I pray that He blesses our leaders with the foresight and humanity to see that this will not work and cannot continue. I pray that they will have the strength to make our country a home for all Malaysians and that they will have mercy for the poor, including the non-Malays. I pray for true racial harmony and acceptance (not just tolerance) in Malaysia.

Yours sincerely,
A very frightened Malaysian abroad

2005-08-10T11:52:00.000+08:00

i'm getting pissed man, year and over year for the past decade, the haze has came bck, and the ting tat pisses me off the most is, its not a natural phenomena, this one we cant blame mother nature for it, Its human doing, and to add insult to injury, its not even done by malaysians, were suffering due to the direct consequences of the irresponsibilities of our neighbour country, why cant they do anyting bout it, its happens year and year and year again!! Rot in hell who ever are those tat started the fire as a cheap mean of clearing forest. Your unleashing a mild-weapon of mass destruction, malaysians are paying the price with our health and life, i hope the gov would do someting bout it, in fact the international community should do someting about it, indonesia has over and over again failed to curb the problem that their neighbours have to pay the price , mayb some kinda trade embargo or boycott is in order, some might say such measures are too far fetch, but look at it this way, their irresponsible actions has affected the health of many malaysians, they might not be many instant death, but long term effects suchs as lung cancer and other respritory illness can cause death, not to mention economics loss, its like their unleashing some form of low tech biological weapon, screw them, i'm pissed, i'm depressed with the haze, screw the irresponsible indons, so much for appreciation of the millions we have send in aid! and the hunderead thousand of job oppurtunity we have provided!

2005-08-08T12:17:00.000+08:00

Well i was proven wrong , this change is exciting, my hostel is jus near KLsentral, so it's very convinient,plus i got a room all to myself!!! cos so far i have no room mate, lets hope it stays this way untill i fnish my course! my housemate are quite nice ppl , they cook every night, and we share the cost of the raw material, suprisingly most of them are catholic, there it was a week ago, moving into a hostel , not knowhing how it will be, how my housemate will be like, wat are the odds man tat mos of them are Catholic!? ahhaa god really has answered my prayers, on another matter, when i was walking around during lunch look for a new place to eat, i saw quite a few old ppl along the way sleeping on the streets, wtf man, With all the AP and NEP issue going aroud, they still are bigger issue here tat never really gets highlited, only once in a while when a tv station turns to highlight an unlucky few, but never have i heard any statistic of proverty or income distribution, wat is the use if the Bumi achieve 30% control of market equity, but that wealth is distributed to a select few? why bother making millionaire, billionaires? wat i tink is the gov should focus on wealth distribution, regardless of race or religion, in tat way , since the Bumi are the majority of the population, naturaly they will hold a substantial stake in the equity market, and i also tink measuring an economic progress of a community by its equity holding are not accurate, i tink a more accurate way would be through contribution to GDP. Thats all for now folk..hungry..goin for lunch

2005-07-29T15:15:00.000+08:00

This time for Real , i'm gonna move to the hostel, later i'm gonna go take a look at it, kinda nervous , not knowing wat to expect, and i haven't anyting but not so good tings bout it.not gonna be the best week end i reckon, i have to start packing when i get home later..sigh, sometime change is exciting but not this one... lets hope i'm proven wrong.

2005-07-18T11:40:00.000+08:00

The Return

It has been ages since i blog, use to be i din have time, thn it's because i dun have the mood, don't complain, Look up on top of the page and Read out loud wat the tittle of my blog says

Today's topic is dreams..ah yes dreams..

Do you have a dream? i have , i dream about it everyday, sometime with dissapointment , sometime with hope, sometime with emotions , sometime with excitment. I dream not of an event or an achievemtns, but i dream of a journey, a journey of fullfilment, a journey till my last breathe.In my dreams, i see the person i dream to be, the decision i will make,the emotions i will feel,the people around me , the character that i am , the things i will do,my believes and even the challanges i will face, As i gaze upon the city nightline, it strucks me that i struggle to find myself in this bustling city, where for many pride and materialism is a relieve from cruel reality, yet it is a city so diverse with many inspiring people, the action seems so near yet so far, I vow to live my dreams day by day, but i know that all is in the hand of god.Many of you who are close to me will partially know what i mean, what my dreams are, and some of our dreams cross and weave togather. I call upon you my frens,no matter how far apart, live you dream day by day, so we might weave our dreams togather into a grand dream we all share.

©2005 Nicholas Loh , Copyrights Reserved, Do not copy or redistribute , private content

2005-06-24T10:39:00.000+08:00

Hello guys i'm back, sorry for the long silencem been bz working, i;ve resigned already, so am now studying ACCP, aptech certified computer professional, so far, im well and alive. happy i quit my job, cos its really a crappy job, long hours, hard labour..lol no OT, boring..and etc etc, its so nice being a student again, now i realized, tat being a student is great, u are given more liberty and freedom than being in work, i mus take this chance to learn the most i can , son i can demand demand demand from my employee..lol

2005-04-22T11:56:00.000+08:00

Today is a fucking unlucky day for me..i went to this CC, drop my mp3 player on the floor..so happens tat im so lucky there is a drainage hole on the flloor..so it droped into the hole...fucking 380 GONE!!!!! oh btw..im employed now..starting on the 25th as Management trainee for AEON BHD.

2005-03-20T14:30:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, when you look back, all great the time we had with ppl who we were once close, but now distant, even when u see them , there is nothing to talk about and there is wierdness, sad isnt it, its even more sad if u knew u were partly responsible for it.

2005-03-18T03:02:00.000+08:00

Another Crappy boring day.. i hope soon things will be more intresting when i go KL for a job interview, and hopefully it will be interviews! wish me luck guys...start of a new era! lol

2005-03-15T01:32:00.000+08:00

Globalisation, a big buzz word isnt it, we've always been preached to that globalization would bring the world as one, a melting port of the world culture, market liberalisation , making the market more competitive and efficient, bring development to all corners of the earth.Sounds all good and rosy doesn't it? but there's a problem! this perceptions is generaly thought by and preached by the more powerful developed countries which are mostly western , it's no suprise tat this is wat most ppl believe , since they are the same ppl who controls the majority of the media disseminating this school of thought, but lets look at it at the prespective of you and me,the less rich and less developed nations, no doubt it would be wonderful to have a composite culture, but the question is,will our local culture withstand a sudden onslaught of foriegn culture especially western culture? are our culture developed enough to take this kind of bashing? or would it errode our value , tradition and social fabric? would it wreck everything into chaos, the more intresting question is, has the average joe on the street developed the mindset and wisdom to handle this sudden influx of foriegn culture and ideas?, or will they be easily influence by consumerism and the media, look around, i guess you would see the answer, it's generally more ok to simply fuck around now,divorce are becoming more common, i certainly don't think tats our asian culture, those pattern awfully resemble those of western culture.see the picture? i'm not saying western culture are all that bad, they have some great ideas like freedom of speech and democracy,equality and all.Not only should us the average joes think which idea is good or bad, which should we adopt, which we should strongly resist, but also, does the idea fit into our local culture context and value? Another key idea of globalisation is that it liberalise the market thus making it's more competitive, thus making it more effecient and productive, but have we come to it, do we really want our local economy to cave in to a so called global "liberalized" market?If we want, we would need to be competitive and effecient in order to survive in a liberalized global market, we will have to work more, increase the pace of our life, no more would you be able to enjoy a leisure lifestyle, more time working, less quality time with family and friends. Ultimately we would still loose in this global liberalized market, because the developed nations already has a head start, in the end society itself would fail, by then we would already loose our idendity, everything would be in chaotic state,we have lost becuase we played someone else's game follwing someone else's rules, i would not dare to imagine that day.Put it simply, would you work your ass off from 8-11 almost everynight, neglect your family, neglect your health so you could afford that BMW that you would rarely use and that big beautiful house u rarely stay in cos u were too busy digging you own grave, following someone's idea how an ideal ife should be.

I don't know why suddenly i'm writting this, it jus came across my mind, mayb i'm too bored =p
©2005 Nicholas Loh

2005-03-11T19:39:00.000+08:00

As i gaze upon the sky, with a glass of chvias coke in my hand,
enlightment came to me, i realized that i am a slave, a slave to myself,
a slave to my own habbits, a slave to my unwilling self to let go,
i myself who is between me and my dream, yet i blame god.
i promise myself , with the help of god, i will no longer be a slave to myself
i shall do everyting in my powers, i shall struggle to my last drop of strenght
to break free, so i might fullfill my destiny, so help me god

2005-03-05T02:03:00.000+08:00

2005-03-04T01:45:00.000+08:00

Another Boring day...im so bored, i feel so dead, untill i watch West wing, i dunno why ,always when i finish watching west wing i feel alive, the politics , the moral conflict, the legal tension,the tactics , democracy in the working, behind the scene legistation and governance, the debate, the social agenda, it sorta excites me...funny, seriously i find it more appealing than porn, u know wat..if president Barlet , the fictional president in west wing is really as good as he is potrayed , i tink he would do hell of a better job thn Mr cowboy Bush! Man...mayb i'm attracted to the power shown in the series, or mayb i love the drama of "making the deal" through all possible "moral" means, or mayb jus the realistic debate!! This show really relfects my perception of democracy, some politicians fighting for what they really believe, some fightign for their self intrest, some fighting for an intrest group (for e.g certain industries). It really shows the beauty of democracy and also the ugly side of it, how it can be abused, how it can be unfair. just like life....

on another matter i downlaoded this great Widget progamme that deric recomended
below is a screen shot of the widgets.

prety cool huh?
get them at http://www.konfabulator.com/downloads/

2005-03-01T14:21:00.000+08:00

Click here for some pics i RR and Bentley i took

2005-02-16T12:06:00.000+08:00

CNY pics

2005-02-11T02:16:00.000+08:00

2005-02-11T01:37:00.000+08:00

jus put up a gallery at http://www.flickr.com/photos/aplnick/
had a great cny..will blog bout it sometime.. tired and sleepy now

2005-02-05T11:09:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day...
"Grieve not on sadness or the things you can not have, but do the things you desire and be happy, for life is short" - Nicholas Loh

2005-02-04T02:37:00.000+08:00

An open prayer

Lord i pray,
i surrender all to you,
Lift me up,
open my eyes and heart,
bring me away from my sorrows,
cleanse away my sin,
give me strength to persist doing the right thing,
give me wisdom so i might understand your will,
give me faith so i'll be forever more in your glory,
set me free , so i might soar high to live your life,
Bless me, so i could fulfill my desires to do great things to glorify you

2005-01-30T01:07:00.000+08:00

Today i went to my fren's house for dinner,food was good, met alot of
intresting ppl, what i want to share is wat my fren's dad said, his a
bank manager for maybank, he went to this Christian Business Leader
Convention, Tan Sri Francis Yeo, the CEO of YTL group, one of the
largest listed company with a a combined Market Capitalisation of
almost RM19 billion, gave a speech, he said that it is not easy being
a Christian business man, but it's possible, there is alot of
challange,you first have to seek GOD, he quoted some bibble verse..but
i forgot which one, WOW ! One of the business man i look up to is
actually a christian, and i believe he is not crapping , looking at
his company portfolio , unlike Anandan Krishan, Lim Goh Tong and
Vincent Tan's portfolio , he does not have gambling business or any
other business which is to some standard is socially unacceptable.
Suddenly it jus came to me,if u have desire to make alot of money,
make it big, seek god first, than work on it, he will bless you, it's
not easy, but it is very possible. Your foundation as a christian is
only as strong as your faith.It alawys has been me and my fren's
desire to make it big so we can make the world better, particularly
kch, if god put that desire into us, he will give us the means to
reach it. Kudos to those who has been sucessful but yet has not
forgotten god.

2005-01-21T14:41:00.000+08:00

Sunset at genting

2005-01-21T14:32:00.000+08:00

View of KL city from genting

2005-01-21T13:40:00.000+08:00

Photocopy art - made using my home bubblejet photocopier, mum gonna kill me when she know i've been wasting ink..but hey, im jus being creative

2005-01-21T12:56:00.000+08:00

yes, tat's my finger being photocopied, color tweaked up abit usin photoshop

2005-01-05T17:57:00.000+08:00

Ambrose Bierce
"Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)"

2005-01-05T17:52:00.000+08:00

Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
"The discovery of a new dish does more for human happiness than the discovery of a new star."

2005-01-05T16:05:00.000+08:00

You can now donate any amount you like to the tsunami victim through digi, the amount donated will be deducted from your credit balance or billed if u are a postpaid, unlike Maxis which takes 30%, digi will not take a single cent!! As an illustration, if you donate RM10, you will be billed, or your prepaid balance will be deducted by RM10.15 in total.DiGi has caliberated its billing system that it will not retain the 15 sen 'transport cost' but will forward all this RM10.15 to the donation box. Amount received for the 2-week campaign will also be audited by DiGi's external auditor, KPMG.

DiGi customers can make their donations via SMS in the following denominations: RM3, RM5 and RM10.

Here's how to make your donation:

step 1
Go to your message menu and key in .

step 2
Send it to 1996.

for more details u can visit
http://www.digi.com.my/tsunami/index.htm

2005-01-05T01:20:00.000+08:00

How Thousands of Life could be saved!!

2005-01-05T01:06:00.000+08:00

JusT the right song to descibe my feelings....

Avril LAvinge - Falling Down

If fear's what makes us decide
Our future journey
Well I'm not along for a ride
Cause I'm still yearning
To try and touch the sun
My fingers burning
Before you're old you are young
Yeah, I'm still learning

I am falling down
Try and stop me
It feels so good to hit the ground
You can watch me
Fall right on my face
It's an uphill human race
And I am falling down

I'm standing out in the street
The earth is moving
I feel it under my feet
And I'm still proving
That I can stand my ground
And my feet aren't there
Haven't washed my hair
To be lost before you are found
Don't mean you're losing

I am falling down
Try and stop me
It feels so good to hit the ground
You can watch me
Fall right on my face
It's an uphill human race
And I am falling down

Some day I'll live in a house
Et cetera, Et cetera, Et cetera
But you know that's not for now
And for now I'm falling down, down, down
Down, down, down
Down, down, down
Yeah-eee-yeah-eee-yeah

I am falling down
Try and stop me
It feels so good to hit the ground
You can watch me
Fall right on my face
It's an uphill human race
And I am falling down
I'm falling down, falling down
Falling, falling, falling
Falling
It feels so good to hit the ground
I am falling, falling down

2005-01-03T00:46:00.000+08:00

Dam super tired...went fishing for my 1st time, tot it was boring, but decided to go anyway rather tha stay home and be bored, but turns out to be intresting... specially if u go wif a bunch of crazy ass frens, never a dow moment.After tat came home bath...straight away went for dinner at top spot...food was nice, big portion, reasonable price, we were all full like crap, we literally had to force the latecomer to stuff all the remaining food into his tummy ..lol poor guy, penalty for being late..thank god it wasn;t me. Than went to 99 for some drinks, than Bing again to meet up wif somemore frens...so now i have both alchohol and caffein in me...plus im super tired...confirm tml sick wan...DAM! lol

2005-01-02T01:54:00.000+08:00

For the year of 2004...
Year of 2004, an eventful year, full of sadness, full of dilemma yet full of blessings I’ve always ignored. In this year I really been through a lot and learned a lot, I learned what real courage is, it’s bout not running from problems and making decision which you know will have dire consequences (thanks vic). I’ve learned sometime shity situations where no matter how hard you fight you can’t seem to overcome are big test that you just have to get through, for what? I don’t really know, maybe it’s to get me ready for the many great big things I will do in the future. One thing for sure, I come to know of the many caring people who are real friends that have helped through. Thanks.

I’ve screwed up some friendship, but I know somehow god will mend it in the future. I’ve got to know many nice caring people who helped me through the year.

To my ka che, Jasmine, who is always there to give me sensible advice, help and even offer to help me get a job even though when I’m dam lazy and slow in preparing the resume she asked for, thanks, I’m glad to known you, hope you’ll safely deliver and have a healthy beautiful baby, so next time I go KL I get to see my “niece”.

To vic, my cimui, I’m so glad to known you, apparently due to your many “experiences” in life have made you so much wiser, thanks for all the advice, support and help you have given me. You really helped me a lot.

To my jie jie , Joelyn, always willing to listen to all my depressing complains, giving good advice, encouragement and prayers, and the great time in KL, thanks, I’ll be looking forward to seeing you again in KL so we can go yam cha when your free =p. sorry for the late sms and forgetting your birthday. Really glad to have known you.

To my fren Chiq(val), after being through so much in life, you still manage to live on and remain sane, it’s really an inspiration, Respect Chiq =p, thanks for being there for me and the nice time i had in KL. See yea soon.

To my musically talented friend Sara, it’s nice knowing you, thanks for all the encouragement and support, and also the nice time I had in KL, see yea soon.

To Cindy, my long lost high skool fren, your niceness and enthusiasm made me believe this world still got a lot of nice sincere people, thanks for all the encouragement and prayers. Hope to see you soon.

To Pauline, my inspiring friend, your sincerity to do good really inspires me, your dream to use music to help people, make me realize that talents, interest can be used for good as it can be use for personal gains. Great to have met you.

To verl verl the cutie, always can keep cool one this gal, thanks for listening to all my crap.
To stephie, my college hang out bud, thanks for all the hang outs..ahah or else I would be bored to death, and one more thing, thanks for being doing your assignment last minute too, or else I’d feel left out..lol

To Sylvia and Gloria, thanks for all the yam cha session, I’d be bored to death in kch if it wasn’t for you gals, Sylvia, I really respect your always cheerful and optimistic enthuasim, keep it up! Glo, you been through a lot and still standing, respect, and sorry for the screw up..

Hmm you guys must be thinking by now… “you fucking biased bastard only say good bout gals, are you gay? “ , sabar…ahaha now I’m getting to it.

To Deric self proclaimed freak and Heng Tai, who is always ready to help, thanks for all the kick ass great time and help man, fast fast grad and learn a lot, so you can be in-charge of the automotive and mechanical division of our to be conglomerate!

To Andrew , the always got kang tau and steady heng tai, thanks for all the great time and help, kawan faster finish yer degree, remember u promise to handle the “darker” side of the bizness..ahaha

To Ting Hung, our beloved , Ta Ker, thanks for all the great time and help.We all waiting for you to finish your degree so we can also dominate the property and construction industry.

To Alvin my “ true also… investment manager”, make sure next year we dun loose any money man ( I mean it!), to be honest, I think your nicer and less freakier compared to last time, big-up man!

To Ah Ju my “aiya regret again la….” fren, respect for having the courage to take the decision to not continue to degree for a while to be the highest earner among us(for now), Brother control your D***, lol mai later come tell me u want to be vegetarian again! Lol
To Sean the fun and funny friend, congrats man, honestly I think u change a lot for the better, no more changing degree programs and actually passing all the subjects! Ahah keep it up man!

To EJ, the doc, ahahaa, thanks for the sarcastic but sensible advice, respect for still being still holiest among us..lol respect for having the crazyness to take a medic degree so we all will still have doctors next time.

And for the other friends I missed to mention sorry man, I’m getting old , memory not that good.

Oh yea my parents, its not like their gonna read this, but it’s only proper to mention, thanks for putting up with all my shit and blindly investing in me =p

Good luck for the year of 2005; I feel it’s gonna be a great year for all of us!

2004-12-30T03:12:00.000+08:00

And so it goes on...
it's 3, can't sleep, thinking about my future,i'm goin to take the 1st
step to realizing my dreams, so much thoughts running through, i've
always had ridiculous dream since high school to build a multi-billion
dollar empire with my frens,so i can buy all the big boy's toy like
fast cars, big cars, a Boeing..lol, a house off the coast of italy,an
accousticly tuned and designed music room, and the list goes on..but
as grew older...i realize how ridiculous and impossible my dreams
were, and also some ppl told me money is evil,i also learn money isnt
everyting,i might have all the stuff and still not be happy. i began
to ponder, what shall i do with my life? tot of being an average joe,
work -> get married->have kids->DIE! lol, but than i swore las time i
wun be like tat and its boring, tot of being an aide worker or
activist or someting like tat, the list goes on...but today i have
come to a conclusion, i will pursue my original dream, its impossible,
i most probaly will not achieve it, i will not be a billionaire, but
if i did try hard, i'll at least be a millionaire, i wun afford a
lambo or a ferrari but i'll be able to afford a BMW, money is evil?
yes and no, its a tool, it can be good , it can be bad...with money, i
can do good, i can support a worthy cause, i can do nice things to
ppl, i can have a company that provides good product or service at a
very reasonable price, thats doing good too. For example, look at Mel
Gibson, lets say his not rich, not famous, u tink he can afford to
make passion of christ? that would touch millions later on? George
soros is a rich bastard, but he spends most of his money fighting for
the cause he believes in, an open society, the thing is u can do good
with out power and money, but u can do more good with power and money,
so dun be shy, go make yerself rich =p Go follow your dreams and die a
satisfied man, and oh yea...next time u see me spending money like
nobody's bizness, remind me,,, "kawan, save money for business capital
lei.."

2004-12-17T21:16:00.000+08:00

Im Still in Bloody KL..
After comin back from genting...the theme park dam sien wan..the thrill rides not thrilling enough... and line dam long somemore...
a real let down was the go kart ... DAM SLOW i tell u... my leg was always on the accelrator!!!! rarely on brakes..wat a let down..
now bck in KL amd bored again!!! hai KL DAM Sien wif out kaki,
only ting to do is shopping...shopping not really my cup of tea!
KL dam sien la wif out kaki.. u guys la all go bck Kch or somewhere else... hiong kan..got conspiracy isit!?ahahhaha
limpehvery sien!!!

2004-12-12T20:09:00.000+08:00

blogging in a cyber now in KL on the top floor of low yat...
my 1st day at KL!? BORING! FUCKING BORING!!!
i'm supposedly at one of the happening area around in town,
BB area..but im still bored..cos there is noting to do here but shop shop shop shop....and im not really a shopping freak, im the type who likes go to one place... find it..grab it and go do some other intresting stuff... KL well..is a abit amusing..at giant i saw them selling matching flower bra and panties for 4.99 a pair! lol tats the price of a wantan mee here! and i saw Rm4 bucks mouse...dunno if they work..but i guess they will...tats it for now..im lazy to type

2004-12-09T02:02:00.000+08:00

so much in my head, yet there is peace,
jus got bck from watchin alexander, he might be alexander the
great..but
also his alexander the GAY!
The movie made me think, what is the purpose of greatness if so many
died and suffered, you loose your friends, you kill your own friends,
in the
end for you to die and have your kingdom fall apart again? Is there
greatness in taking so many lifes? crushing many hopes?
where is the greatness in that? to me greatness is in simple
things,greatness is to give life, greatness is to give joy, not take
nor
deprieve,
I can easily get a knife and start killing, some crack ass terrorist
can
blow up a nuke and kill millions, but not give life or spread joy...it
takes selflessnes, it takes courage.True greatness is to give, not to
take.

2004-12-05T02:59:00.000+08:00

Nick is a symphony of character, feelings, emotions and thoughts =)
©2004

2004-12-02T23:40:00.000+08:00

I Hereby pronounce today DEC 2, 2004! ANXIOUS day! anxious bout my exam result and anxious about other stuff..i never felt so fucking anxious in my whole fucking life!!

2004-11-15T03:04:00.000+08:00

What i wrote out of boredome...

/* ©2004 Nicholas Loh - does not compile..if u try..ur stupid*/

#include stdio.h
#include package.humansense.see
#include package.sex.*
#include package.emotions.*

function areUinLoveWifHer ( char[30] name);

char[30] main (char[30] name_of_who_u_love)

char[30] result="";

if(love=areUinLoveWifHer(name_of_who_u_love,,&result)){
if(shelovesu=true){
if(willbehappy=true){
if(compatible){love.action.court_her()};
};
};
};

return char;

};

function areUinLoveWifHer ( char[30] name, char* result) {
int inlove%=0;

if (see.name=emotions.happy) { inlove%++};

if(see.name=sex.high){if(sex.high.desireOnly){inlove%--}
else if(sex.high.islove){inlove%++};

if(inlove%>50) {return strcpy(*result,"mayb yer in love" , return true);

if(inlove%<50){return strcpy(*result,"u jus wanna fuck her" , return false);

if(inlove%>90){return strcpy(*result,"u should fucking marry her" return true);
}

2004-11-13T23:15:00.000+08:00

Your Lexmark printer and scanner spying on u!!
http://www.engadget.com/common/jump.asp?win_cc=1523287196564953

2004-11-11T01:11:00.000+08:00

WOhoooo!!! Exam over...hopefully i'd pass all my sub and grad!!
Than it will be a new chapter of my life! mayb it's time i start thinking wat i really want with my life..wat i want to make of myself!! time to ponder and ponder and live it and not waste life away, so god help me =p

2004-10-31T02:33:00.000+08:00

Finding my self
over and over
in the cloud of confusion
trying to find who i am
but the answer is always
the same
it's me
it's always the me i am
after all it's not bout finding
who i am
but its always rediscovering again
and again who i was
what i am
what i alawys been
it's always bout goin bck to my own road
no matter who or what lead me astray
i'd find my way back to me

so to the some of u...
who might mean well (thanks) or mean ill (go screw yerself)
telling me what i should be
who i should become
shut the fuck up!
i dun give a dam!
what u say or wat u tink
you're not me
you've never been me
you don't know who i am
with the grace of god
i shall be my ultimate judge
to what i am
to who i will be

for those who has always been there
accepting me for being me
being there for me no matter in what times
your truly great friends that i cherish

My advice,
just be you
listen to your inner self
follow your inner zeal
be who you are
your beautiful =)
even if your wrong,
you'll die being yourself
not someone else!

©2004 Nicholas Loh

2004-10-25T00:14:00.000+08:00

Today i learned of a hero i respect, one younger than i am, a 13 year old who died at 13, but did many wonders , much more than most of us can.He inspired millions with his poetry ,with the message of peace and love. He had greatness alot of us lack , to geniunely care for others even when his on life is on the line.Here are some of his inspiring work:

Every journey begins
With but a small step.
And every day is a chance
For a new, small step
In the right direction.
Just follow your Heartsong.

by Mattie Stepanek

and he wrote when he was just 11, I want people to know that in every life there are storms. But we must remember to play after every storm and to celebrate the gift of life as we have it, or else life becomes a task, rather than a gift. We must always listen to the song in our heart, and share that song with others.

to know more
read
http://myhero.com/myhero/hero.asp?hero=mattieStepanek
http://www.oprah.com/spiritself/insp/psp/ss_insp_psp_mattie.jhtml

2004-10-17T03:25:00.000+08:00

my faith is at it's edge,
does it pay to be the good guy? does it pay to uphold moral values?
does it pay to do the right thing and not indulgede in temptations?
it doesnt seem to pay doin the right thing....tings jus go wrong
my faith is at play, so help me god

2004-10-10T13:58:00.000+08:00

Another Wasted day..Doing wasted stuff
las nite i drank like mad again and of cos..spend like mad!
should have jus followed my instinct and went home.
i'd save money, not torment my liver, not waking up feeling like shit
and not the mention the guilt..wtf man

2004-10-06T11:33:00.000+08:00

from http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=04/10/05/1823254&tid=153

"The Malaysian blogosphere is currently in uproar as one of their most famous bloggers, a political observer named Jeff Ooi, has been threatened with action under the country's draconian ISA (Internal Security Act) law which allows a person to be detained without trial if he is thought to threaten "national security". The whole problem started with a comment made by a reader of the blog. The comment is alleged to have been insulting of Islam. A national newspaper (whose editor has frequently been a target of Ooi's blog) took up the story and accused the blogger of insulting Islam, while Ooi in his defence states he warned (and later deleted) the offending commenter when he was alerted to it. Malaysian bloggers meanwhile are outraged that a blogger should be held responsible for comments made by readers. In the case of Ooi's blog, which attracts thousands of hits per day, it is logistically impossible for Ooi to read and moderate every comment made. The whole saga can be followed in Jeff Ooi's Screenshots blog."

check out www.jeffooi.com for the whole detail!!

2004-10-04T23:12:00.000+08:00

why is there a deep urge for me to escape!? to run away?
am i a coward? or am it to run away and rediscover myself?
to be the best of who i am?

2004-10-03T19:22:00.000+08:00

Bored boring very bored, not tat i dun have work to do, i got tons of assign to do, jus tat their not exciting at all..its all so so so so boring!

2004-09-28T22:15:00.000+08:00

DAM astro piss me off again! They censored anwar's CNN' interview! wtf !!! anyway for those of u who are intrested , an unofficial version of the transcipt is availaible here:
http://www.mggpillai.com/sections.php3?op=viewarticle&artid=7840

2004-09-26T13:10:00.000+08:00

"BMW unveils world's fastest hydrogen car
'H2R' uses traditional combustion engine, not fuel cells"
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/6089614/

2004-09-18T12:58:00.000+08:00

who wants a gmail? drop me a line

2004-09-08T00:01:00.000+08:00

~Live Your Love~

by Max The Poet®

Live your love,

Feel what is real,

Seek your destiny,

With the ultimate zeal.

~

Live your love,

Find what completes you,

Be the best that you can be,

In everything you do.

~

Live your love,

Make your dreams come true,

You can do most anything,

That you want to do.

~

Believe in yourself,

Reach for a star,

Nurture, what it is,

That makes you who you are.

~

Live your love,

Reach out, touch others,

Find your purpose on this Earth,

We are all sisters and brothers.

~

When you dream, dream big,

You can make it if you try,

Fear not, failure,

Failure is a lie.

~

Take your gift and share it,

Share it freely with everyone,

The talent you possess,

Shines brighter than the sun.

~

Live your love,

Follow your heart,

Listen to your inner voice,

Like you have, from the start.

~

An awesome tune of might and power,

Is contained, therein,

Listen to the melody,

As each day begins.

~

Your gift is awesome,

It is sent from above,

Capture success and harness it,

Be bold and live your love.

2004-09-06T00:48:00.000+08:00

Some of Life's fav question

Questions that my friend asked on her blog
and question that i always ask msyelf
and question that alot of people have pondered upon

1. What is Happiness?
2. What is Life?
3. What is Love?
4. How to measure if I've got a meaningful life?

i've been pondering into those questions for so long
sometime there is an aswer..sometimes there is so many answers, sometime there is no answers, im confused mysef =P
for the 4th question i find lyrics of 4him - measure of a man [lyrics on my blog or google for it], a good answer.
i tink mayb there is no ultimate answer to life, or mayb god is the answer, i don't know
mayb its life to search for this answers, as they always say...live for love, search for happiness?

lol..wat is love!? i've been asking myself too, i know the love of a mother/father for his/her child, love of god, but i still don't understand the love between a gal n a guy[i'll call it hetro love lol], if they so much so love each other? why are there divorce? why are they cheating? why is there hurt? or isit "love" is just a chemical reacation, a spark? or isit sexual? i tink the greatest love of all, after god's love, is the love a parent, love of a child, so much so that someone would endure 9 months of pain, sacrifice so much to bring a child up, protecting it,ever forgiving ,in the end not hoping anything in return, only that the child will lead a good life, its a phenomenal thing, suddenly "Love"(hetro love)is so much so celebrated in songs , movies. but rarely the love of a father for his child, a love of a mother for her unborn infant, a love of a soldier dying for his country, don't they deserve more celebration than those hetro love? of cos a guy will love u and buy u nice things, talk sweet to u, cos he wanan bang u! and of cos a gal would be nice to u and stuff, cos she wants romance and excitement, mayb your credit card..lol. I think the media has very much celebrated the wrong love and gave the wrong idea on love, its like LOve=SEX , Love=Romance , Love=passion.I'm not saying Love is not good, i just think the boy gal kinda love is overrated, exploited by industries, A love a hero for his country, a love of a parent for his children, a love of a friend, a love of god for his ppl, these are the true loves, love which sacrifice everything with out hoping for something in return, love with out motive, love without exploit, love that is so pure and clean, that is TRUE LOVE

2004-09-06T00:10:00.000+08:00

4him - measure of a man

This world can analize and size you up and throw you on the scales
They can I.Q. you and run you through
Their rigorous details
They can do their best to rate you
And they'll place you on the charts
And then back it up with scientific smarts
But there's more to what you're worth
Than their human eyes can see
Oh, I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside to the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man
Well, you can doubt your worth
And search for who you are
And where you stand
But God made you in His image
When He formed you in His hands
And He looks at you with mercy
And He sees you through His love
You're His child and that will always be enough
For there's more to what you're worth
Than you could ever comprehend
Oh I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are

'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside
To the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man
You can spend your life persuing physical perfection
There is so much more
More than ever meets the eye
For God looks through the surface
And He defines your worth by what is on the inside
I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside
To the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
Oh, I say the measure of
The measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand,
How wealthy or intelligent you are
Oh, I've found the measure of a man
God knows and understands it
For He looks to the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
Yeah, what's in the heart defines
Yeah, what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man
I know, I know

2004-09-03T00:32:00.000+08:00

I'm going to name my kids Control, Alt, and Delete.
If they ever get to be a problem I'll just hit them all twice
Problem solved.

2004-09-01T00:59:00.000+08:00

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question
asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the
food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure...
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant

2004-08-31T16:32:00.000+08:00

so much for merdeka...fights everywhere..innocent ppl get stabed..big fight at clubbing area..police who jus seem to stand there and not give a fuck....ungrateful uncivilised assholes...all those who died for us , for our nation mus be rolling in their graves now!

2004-08-29T12:33:00.000+08:00

Question: What is the true definition of Globalisation?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How?

Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a
French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you
change the spelling) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese
motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by an Malaysian, using Bill Gates' American
technology , and you're probably reading this on your computer, that
uses Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi
workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers,
hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Maori wharfies, and trucked to you
by Vietnamese illegals.....

That, my friends, is Globalisation!!

----------------------------------------------------------------

There once was a king who offered a prize to the artist who would
paint the best picture of Peace. Many artists tried. The king looked at
all the
pictures. But there were only two he really liked, and he had to
choose
between them.

One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror for
peaceful
towering mountains all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy
white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect
picture
of peace.

The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare.
Above was an angry sky, from which rain fell and in which lightning
played.
Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not
look
peaceful at all.

But when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny
Bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built
her
nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother
bird on her nest in perfect peace.

Which picture do you think won the prize? The king chose the second
picture. Do you know why?

"Because," explained the king, "Peace does not mean to be in a place
where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in
the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is
the real
meaning of peace."

2004-08-28T12:26:00.000+08:00

Astro subsribers take down yer pants, the second richest man in Malaysia , owner of maxis and astro is gonna screw u

as taken from http://www.jeffooi.com/archives/2004/08/astro_subscribe_1.php :

As new payTV operator MiTV is feverishly trying to launch its service
in December, Astro is conspiring to lock-in its current subscribers
like fish-in-the-net without their realising it.

As it is, Astro is sending out notices to tell subscribers that they
should be receiving a "new improved security smart card", during the
1st week of September.

The existing card will not work after Sep 30, 2004. Take it or leave it!

Now, there is a catch. Coming with this new card is a Astro Subscriber
agreement.

If you go to Astro website, you should know that, by accepting the new
card and activating it, you are tied to Astro for another 12 months
thereafter!

If you decide to stop the service from Astro after the activation of
the "new" card, you can be charged an "agreed fee" of RM500! (see
screenshot below)

Some subscribers have used Astro for more than 12 months - some years
- now comes the next 12-month force-stay period after the activaiton
of the "new" card.

2004-08-27T20:31:00.000+08:00

Another borig day gone by? wat shall i do?
go out ? go out do wat lei? drink meh? everyday do sameting dam boring la!!

2004-08-27T01:37:00.000+08:00

2004-08-24T03:07:00.004+08:00

Stupid Things I do wif a torchlight when i can't sleep

2004-08-24T03:07:00.003+08:00

2004-08-24T03:07:00.002+08:00

2004-08-24T03:07:00.001+08:00

2004-08-24T03:07:00.000+08:00

2004-08-24T03:06:00.001+08:00

2004-08-24T03:06:00.000+08:00

2004-08-24T03:05:00.000+08:00

2004-08-24T03:04:00.000+08:00

2004-08-24T03:02:00.001+08:00